When I successfully auditioned for a contemporary dance group as a teen, I squeaked the news, at a rabid pace to my dad. When I won a scholarship at university, my closest friends knew, that the drinks were on me that night! Every time I have a had a particularly affirming session with a client, or achieved a business goal, the first person I want to share that with is my husband.
Think about your most recent accomplishments or joyful moments.Who was there? Who did you race to share the news with?
I’m guessing that you shared it with someone close to you – a good friend, sibling, partner or parent.
Happiness is only real when shared ~ Chris McCandless, Into the wild
Our relationships are important
When the magic moments take place in life, we naturally turn to those that matter. Through sharing, those meaningful experiences become firmly cemented in our memory banks.
Why? Because people matter.
Relationships enhance our life experience exponentially,particularly the relationships we have with those closest.
So why is it that the ones we are closest to, too often become the ones we most take for granted?
Have you ever been completely feral with your spouse and in the next moment, switched to the best version of yourself, when you answered the phone, or had some friends stop by?
Doesn’t that seem wrong?
Aren’t we supposed to give our best to the ones we love the most?
Losing sight of what really matters
I love my work. I am beyond grateful to be doing work that helps improve the lives of others. I enjoy the connection and sense of community that I get to experience every day, with clients, colleagues, through my blog and on social media.
As trite as it may sound, I am motivated to leave a pin-prick of meaning on the tapestry of life.
However, the danger of doing something you love so much is that you can easily lose sight of what really matters. You can get so caught up in the process of creating or being completely available to others, yet closed to those that matter the most.
You can lose sight of the fact that its’ significance dulls if you are continually flying solo.
And it doesn’t just pertain to work does it?
What happens to our relationship when we have kids?
How many of us get so caught up in the business of parenting that we neglect the one that helped bring those kids into the world in the first place?
I can readily attest to the fact that when I became a mum, much of my focus shifted from my relationship as a couple, to the relationship with my baby.
The immediacy and urgent nature of a baby’s needs often ensure that it.
But what happens a year later, or five years later, when you are still so consumed by your children’s needs that your spousal relationship becomes secondary?
A poignant reminder by Fiona from My Mummy Daze, echoes with meaning for many women, who are missing their husbands..
Fiona wrote about the easy intimacy of life ‘before-children’, and pining for the way it was:
I miss those quiet, uninterrupted chats and staying up chatting in the wee hours. But they are now few and far between.
Simple things like finding time to finish off a conversation or getting a moment to apologise for the latest argument or snappy comment are hard to find.
Her story happily concludes with a successful date night, where she quietly observes the ‘charming, funny, intelligent guy’ she first met, years ago.
If you are fortunate enough to be in a loving partnership with the father of your children, take some time to reaffirm that relationship on a regular basis.
Lets stand in a place of responsibility for our love.
We can keep giving out the same lame excuses that are as as equally tired as we profess to be, or we can make a move today to lessen the gap and improve the quality of connection with those we love.
We can keep living our lives, oblivious or silently observing the damage from afar, thinking we will make it better another day, when we are less busy, less distracted and more inclined.
Or, we can get back to that familiar place of knowing, and do something about it, today.