We understand that others are deserving of love – just for being here – without having to be better, or be more, or be different.
But when it comes to ourselves, we have conditions.
Most of us do not look at other peoples lives and say – “she would be loveable if she had more money” or “I could like her, if she didn’t have a broken marriage.”
We don’t think that someone is only worthy because they are ‘thin’, ‘funny’, or ‘intelligent’.
We don’t place those conditions on others but how often do we do it to ourselves?
We decide that we will love ourselves when we can move past a history of abuse, when we are at our ideal weight, when we have a job we like, or when we have a decent loving relationship.
We place conditions on ourselves – and we pretty much put our lives on hold, deciding that we will be of worth once we have achieved x, y or z.
I have tons of flaws, but none of them stop me from loving myself.
I accept them as part of who I am.
Bu I did not always feel this way.
I would say that it has only been in the last 2-3 years that I have truly believed that I was worthy of my own love.
(So take comfort in that if you need to, and keep doing the inner work).
The starting place for self-love has little to do with love and more to with self-acceptance.
Unconditional self acceptance.
Because that’s the thing – it’s so much easier to love ourselves when things are going well in our lives.
But when things aren’t going well -we have a tendency to focus on our apparent lack and then we begin operating from a place of scarcity – of not being, doing or having enough.
How to start loving yourself right now
The way to self love is to accept yourself unconditionally, right in this moment.
That sense of knowing and feeling love for yourself is not a state of mind, or a destination we miraculously arrive at.
It’s an action and a journey that we choose to embark on for the rest of our lives.
It’s a day by day practice and breaking it down to an even smaller level – it’s a choice by choice practice.
Our self love muscle grows every time we make a decision to accept our weaknesses as well as our strengths, it grows when we choose to give ourselves what we really need – not necessarily what we want, but what we need.
If you don’t give up, it’s going to happen.
The only way you will fail is if you give up – it really is that simple.
Need some further inspiration?
Watch this 2 min video on a new definition of self love.