I’ve been keeping a secret from you.
As part of the application process, we were required to list some of our juiciest goals for 2015. You know, the grand ones that we are often too afraid to commit to paper, let alone speak about.
Not wanting to hold back – I listed my hearts biggest and seemingly greediest desires. To write a book, double my income, garner further paid speaking opportunities and collaborate with some of the leading heart-centred entrepreneurs in the world. (Told you, we were called on to dream BIG).
Two weeks later, I received an email from a publishing company who are interested in having me turn“Lean into Yourself‘ into a real, live, hard-copy book.
What ensued, was not what some may have expected from a life coach who actively encourages and supports other women to celebrate, trust in, and back themselves completely.
I did not jump up and down on my bed, or twerk out a happy dance.
I did not call my friends or family to share news of this fabulous opportunity.
What I did, was think about all of the ways that this was not a good idea.
Like how busy 2015 was already shaping up to be. Like how could I possibly write a book, while running a business and continuing to show up as the woman, partner, and mamma, that I pride myself in being (that old narrative about not being able to have it all, or have it all at once).
How I wasn’t ready yet. How I wasn’t accomplished enough, or writer enough, or expert enough.
I sought out my real writer friends for advice. I spoke to mentors and coaches and (almost) convinced them about the poor timing of this opportunity.
The reasons why my lack of excitement firmly suggested that this wasn’t one of my biggest dreams after all.
I listened to my thoughts and ignored the deepest stirrings of my heart because. Hello! Fear.
That old chestnut that continually shows up in my own life and often takes others by surprise.
I’ve coached and mentored more than 200 women in the past two years and many of them have asked, when it was, that I stopped being scared of putting myself out there and allowing myself to be seen.
“How about never” is my standard response.
Our fears may change and morph as a matching companion to our learning and growth, but dissipate completely?
That’s not how we are wired. We simply become better at managing it.
And so, I’m going to take what feels like an enormous leap, for myself, and for all of you who have ever worried about not having what it takes to achieve (insert your own big dream here).
I’m going to get busy on completing that book synopsis. Like a Boss.
Wish me luck!