Yesterday, I had to go to hospital for a small procedure and some further tests. Feeling a little anxious, I posted a request for positive vibes and prayers on my personal Facebook page.
What was interesting was how challenging that was to do and becoming aware of the inner dialogue as I hit ‘post’:
“Kirri, No one wants to hear about your health issues”
“Don’t be so self absorbed. Hundreds of people have died in terrorist attacks all over the world this week and here you are thinking about yourself”
“People go to hospital every day. It’s no biggie. Stop being such a baby”
“You can’t ASK for prayers and well wishes for yourself. That’s just lame”
“OMG, what if you post this and no one responds, or even cares?”
I’ve spent years becoming intimate with the workings of the inner critic and while there’s still plenty of negative chatter going on inside my head, I’ve learnt to question the stories that I tell myself.
I choose kindness over self criticism as my go to response and practice being my own best friend, rather than adversary.
The thing that I wanted to share with you today is that part of being your own best friend is to understand that WE STILL NEED ONE ANOTHER.
YES to choosing yourself and taking exceptional care of yourself.
YES to having your own back and nurturing your emotional wellbeing.
YES to maintaining healthy boundaries and trusting in your decisions.
YES to understanding that personal transformation is an inside job and that YOU are responsible for the way you experience life.
But please don’t forget that you are not an island.
Don’t think that you always need to go it alone.
Be your own best friend but please know this as well
Part of being your own best friend includes asking for support when you need it and gently leaning into the care of others.
Now I know that for many of you, this will not be news. You already understand that the capacity for connection and support is not something that grows in isolation.
But I’m gauging a guess that there are still many of you (like me), who struggle asking for help.
I’m ardently sharing this for all of us.
Truth is I struggle asking for help all.the.time.
Truth is, that for me, it feels more natural and ‘good’ to be the giver and provider of support than it does to receive it.
Truth is, it takes guts to admit that we can’t exist on our own.
Of course, I’m going to drop another Brene Brownism that sums it up perfectly right here:
WE NEED EACH OTHER.
We are biologically wired for connection and there is no thriving life for any of us unless we can appreciate our interconnectedness and interdependence.
Wanting to feel cared for by others is healthy.
So let’s continue to build friendships, romances, and business relationships with the highest level of tenderness and compassion.
PS – My coaching practice is now full until February 2016. If you would like to hear when my next spots become available – please jump on my list.